/Hey there, welcome to my blog! Today I'm going to share with you a hard truth that might change your life: I can't is just an excuse. Yes, you heard me right. Most of the time, when we say we can't do something, we are actually lying to ourselves. We are hiding behind our fears, our doubts, our laziness, or our comfort zones. We are limiting our own potential and missing out on amazing opportunities. But don't worry, I'm not here to judge you or make you feel bad. I'm here to help you break free from your self-imposed limitations and achieve your goals. Let me show you how.
First of all, let's understand why we say I can't so often. It's not because we are stupid or weak or incompetent. It's because we are human. We have been conditioned by our environment, our upbringing, our education, and our experiences to believe certain things about ourselves and the world. We have learned what we can and can't do, what we should and shouldn't do, what we are good and bad at. These beliefs form our mindset, which shapes our behaviour and our results.
But here's the thing: our beliefs are not always true. They are not facts. They are opinions, assumptions, interpretations, or generalizations. They are based on incomplete or outdated information, or influenced by emotions or biases. They are not fixed or permanent. They can be changed.
And that's where the magic happens. When we challenge our beliefs and question their validity, we open ourselves to new possibilities and perspectives. We discover that we have more options and resources than we thought. We realize that we can learn new skills, overcome obstacles, and grow as a person. We become more confident, more creative, and more resilient.
Photo by Kristina Paparo / Unsplash
For example, let's say you are asked to give a speech in front of a large audience. If you have stage fright or any normal level of anxiety, you might be gripped by a sudden surge of fear. In this state, it’s easiest to think, "I can't do that!" It’s human to feel this way, but in reality, you DO possess the ability to deliver that speech. Your reluctance stems only from the fear of public speaking, which is a common anxiety. By recognizing this fear and addressing it, you can overcome the urge to say "I can't." and instead develop the skills necessary to become a confident speaker.
How do you do that? Well, there are many ways to overcome your fear of public speaking, such as practicing in front of a mirror or a friend, joining a Toastmasters club, taking a course online or offline, watching TED talks for inspiration, or using positive affirmations or visualization techniques. The point is not to avoid the challenge or give up on your goal, but to face it head-on and find a solution that works for you.
The same principle applies to any other situation where you feel like saying I can't. Whether it's starting a business, learning a language, traveling the world, writing a book, or running a marathon. There is always a way to make it happen if you really want it.
So next time you catch yourself saying I can't, stop and ask yourself: Is this really true? Or is it just an excuse? What evidence do I have to support this belief? What evidence do I have to contradict it? What would happen if I tried anyway? What would I gain if I succeeded? What would I lose if I failed? How can I overcome this challenge or find a workaround?
Let me give you an example. Remember when you learned to ride a bike as a kid? You probably felt scared and nervous at first, right? You might have even said "I can't do this" or "I'm going to fall". But did that stop you from trying? No! You got on the bike, pedalled hard, and eventually learned to balance and steer. And when those stabiliser wheels came off...wow.And how did that make you feel? Proud, happy, confident, right?
Well, guess what? Learning to ride a bike is no different from learning anything else in life. Whether it's a new job, a new relationship, a new hobby, or a new skill, you can do it if you put in the effort and practice. The only thing that's holding you back is your own mind.
Sometimes, we create mental barriers that stop us from trying new things. We think we are not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, or worthy enough. We fear failure, rejection, or embarrassment. We avoid challenges and settle for our comfort zones. But these are all illusions that we can overcome.
How do we do that? By developing a growth mindset. A growth mindset is a belief that you can improve your abilities and achieve your goals through hard work and learning. It's the opposite of a fixed mindset, which is the belief that your abilities are fixed and cannot change. A growth mindset helps you see challenges as opportunities to grow, not as threats to avoid. It helps you embrace feedback, not fear criticism. It helps you say "I can" instead of "I can't".
Here are some tips to help you cultivate a growth mindset and overcome the "I can't" mentality:
-Change your language. Instead of saying "I can't", say "I can learn", "I can try", or "I can improve". This will help you focus on the process, not the outcome.
- Set realistic goals. Break down your big goals into smaller and achievable steps. Celebrate your progress and reward yourself for your efforts.
- Seek feedback. Ask for constructive criticism and learn from your mistakes. Don't take it personally or get defensive. Use it as an opportunity to improve.
- Challenge yourself. Step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Don't be afraid to fail or make mistakes. That's how you learn and grow.
- Be optimistic. Believe in yourself and your potential. Don't let negative thoughts or emotions stop you from pursuing your dreams.
Remember, you are capable of more than you think. You have the power to change your mindset and overcome any obstacle. All you need is a little courage and a lot of determination.
One of the most powerful ways to live is to adopt the growth mindset. The growth mindset as we saw above is the belief that you can improve your skills and abilities through hard work, feedback, and learning. It's the opposite of a fixed mindset, which is the belief that you are born with a certain level of talent and intelligence that cannot be changed. A growth mindset allows you to see challenges as opportunities to grow, rather than as threats to your self-esteem. It also helps you embrace failure as a valuable source of feedback, rather than as a sign of inadequacy. By adopting a growth mindset, you can develop a positive attitude towards yourself and your potential.
Another effective way to overcome self-doubt is to set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. Goals give you direction, motivation, and a sense of accomplishment. They also help you measure your progress and celebrate your successes.
However, not all goals are created equal. Some goals are too vague, too ambitious, or too unrealistic, which can lead to frustration and disappointment. To avoid this, make sure your goals are SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
For example, instead of saying "I want to be a better writer", say "I want to write a 500-word blog post every week for the next three months". This goal is specific (what you want to do), measurable (how much and how often), achievable (within your reach), relevant (to your interests and aspirations), and time-bound (with a deadline).
By setting SMART goals, you can break down your big dreams into manageable steps and track your progress along the way. You can also reward yourself for each milestone you reach, which will boost your confidence and motivation.
Another tactic is to seek support from others. Encouragement goes a long way in the journey of growth. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who believe in your abilities and will help you overcome your self-doubt. When you are too pessimistic of yourself, they can provide the outside perspective you need to hear.
Additionally, consider seeking guidance from a mentor or expert in the area you are struggling with, who can relate to your desires and provide the earned knowledge it takes to get there.
Finally, be both patient and kind to yourself. You haven’t gotten to this point in life without a few bumps and bruises, and yet you’re here. Recognize that everyone experiences fear and self-doubt at times, and it is entirely normal to feel apprehensive about tackling new or challenging tasks. However, it is essential not to let these feelings prevent you from realizing your full potential.
Well done for making it this far through the article, I say to you with tongue in cheek, “you must definitely be a can-do person” 😊 So as we draw it to a close allow me to recap and offer you a final suggestion;
The phrase "I can't" often serves as an excuse that prevents us from confronting our fears and pushing ourselves to grow. Consider dropping it from your vocabulary. It removes our power and reduces us to limitations we don’t need to have. By adopting a growth mindset, setting achievable goals, seeking support, and practising self-compassion, you can overcome the "I can't" mentality and unlock your true potential. Embrace challenges, learn from your experiences, and remember that you are capable of far more than you can even imagine!
I hope this blog post has inspired you to rethink your limitations and unleash your potential. Remember: I can't is just an excuse. You can do anything you set your mind to.
Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more tips and tricks on how to live your best life!
Have a great day.